The wags in Canada have wasted no time in trying to define rumored ambassador-to-be David Wilkins.

Mainstream Canadian news outlets have mostly played it straight, but a couple of Web sites and weblogs have made their positions clear.

“Reefer Mad Bush Pal to be Named Ambassador to Canada,” screams the headline on the PEJ News site from April 5. The writers of the Peace, Earth and Justice News site believe Wilkins has been preoccupied with strengthening marijuana laws in South Carolina.

“Rumored US Ambassador Bad News for Canada,” was the headline on CounterBias.com on April 6.

According to the Web site, Wilkins, “is even less suited for the job than anyone’s lowest expectations could hope.”

Because South Carolina is so far away, Wilkins can’t possibly know anything about Canada, the site’s authors suggest.

“I can’t wait for the first time this religious conservative tells our country that gay marriage is bad, mmkay, marijuana is bad, mmkay, and all us atheists are going to hell,” the site’s posting says.

The Buzz is willing to bet that the Canadians misunderestimate Wilkins.

Perhaps the most outlandish report came from CBC television’s Web site. The broadcasters there quote their own correspondent Henry Champ as calling Wilkins “ultra-conservative.”

According to the CBC site, “Champ said Wilkins was also instrumental in delivering South Carolina to Bush, ‘a state that had always been a very difficult one for Republicans to gain.’”

Now who doesn’t know anything about whom, mmkay?

THERE SHE IS ...

Nearly every man in the Senate — that’d be all but one of the 46 — found an excuse to be at the front of the chamber on Wednesday.

That’s because that was the only way to see the Miss South Carolina contestants who were gathered upstairs in the Senate balcony. Reigning S.C. queen, Ann Ashley Wood, was there as well.

The Buzz is sure there were more than a few stiff necks from the preening.

Some senators tried to pretend they had actual business at the front of the chamber and stole not-so-sly peeks upstairs.

Most just stood there with big, goofy grins and applauded as Sen. Jim Ritchie, R-Spartanburg, introduced the bevy of beauties.

It was enough to prompt one male lobbyist to proclaim Wednesday “the best day of the year.”

— Aaron Gould Sheinin