x-sender: governor.haley@sc.lmhostediq.com x-receiver: governor.haley@sc.lmhostediq.com Received: from mail pickup service by IQ12 with Microsoft SMTPSVC; Mon, 16 Mar 2015 20:51:49 -0400 thread-index: AdBgTI0jlDrnxWxQTFmIxTjir9A+lA== Thread-Topic: Domestic Abuse From: To: Subject: Domestic Abuse Date: Mon, 16 Mar 2015 20:51:49 -0400 Message-ID: <57D9953EB6994E39BC5818083565D7B6@IQ12> MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1" Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit X-Mailer: Microsoft CDO for Windows 2000 Content-Class: urn:content-classes:message Importance: normal Priority: normal X-MimeOLE: Produced By Microsoft MimeOLE V6.1.7601.17609 X-OriginalArrivalTime: 17 Mar 2015 00:51:49.0621 (UTC) FILETIME=[8D2F4250:01D0604C] CUSTOM Ms. Deborah J. Hairston Hairston 703 Hayden Court Taylors SC 29687 hdeborah58@yahoo.com 864-254-5230 864-254-5230 ETHI Domestic Abuse I came to SC to escape the an I once loved. In short, I am a domestic abuse survivor. recently legislation made strides in opening the door to conversation about domestic abuse but I'd like to offer consideration from a different angle. Abusers regretfully do not want an intellectual fingerprint on the weapon of use so to restrict the abusers ability to obtain a gun by reason of gun control may not make a real impact on this horrific issue. I recently wrote the below letter to Pastor Curtis Johnson (Pastor of Valley Brook Baptist Church). I chose Pastor Curtis Johnson because he is a noted ratio personality and his tentacles of influence could be tremendous. As of this writing, I have not heard from him. Kindly consider the dialogue below and feel free to contact me accordingly. ****First of all, please allow me to introduce myself to you. My name is Deborah Hairston. I listen to your program most Sunday mornings and I am proud of the strides you have made in the Greenville community and know many members of your church. I attended services where you preached the word (at Redemption World Outreach) and am now enlisting your assistance on my journey. As you are aware, a lot of negative data warehousing of statistics frequently flood the news regarding domestic violence. There a people of noteworthy status and people relegated as stars who recite their exposure to domestic violence but I am not sure that anyone is relaying the correct message. Dare to offer condolences to a mother standing over an open casket or touch the shoulder of one mourning over the cement blanket in a cemetery that holds the remains of the person so deeply loved that was lost by way of domestic violence. It is difficult - but not impossible - particularly if you were a domestic violence victim as myself. I am a survivor by the renewing of my mind. I am a survivor because I found I had "two feet and learned how to stand on them". For sure, I am NOT the face of domestic abuse - moreover, I am the face of a SURVIVOR. I do not look like what I have been through. I don't smell like the smoke that engulfed me while in the fire-y furnace and it is only by the grace of God that I have life today. What do I know that other victims do not know? I know that God is faithful. I learned what an Order of Protection "really" does - and what it DOES NOT do. I learned what I could do without while I was budgeting and paying my tithes (giving God what was his first). I learned how to repair my credit and purchase a home. I learned how to raise a child . alone. I do not hate men and have not taught my daughter to hate men and I am happily watch her navigate through her third year of college. Not to say that this road has been easy but I am not convinced that the RIGHT message is being conveyed. Kindly understand, I am not looking for someone else's husband and I am not looking for my mate because all of that comes in God's time. Surely, I would like a person by God's own design but I will not spread myself over the spectrum of opportunities because I want my mate that I waited for him. I don't want to come off as a minister because that is not my calling - I AM CALLED to help other single moms and single dads recover and have tools for survival. I AM CALLED readdress the conversation about domestic violence from a posture of survival. There ARE things women can do to move on. Staying in a domestic abuse situation for the children is one of the biggest lies of the enemy that can and will cause premature death. So where do I believe YOU come in? I am in the process of writing my next book. It will be going to the publisher by mid-April, then cover designs will be finalized, etc. I anticipate the book to be out by this summer. It is written from a posture of my own experiences. You see, I have lived in the Greenville, SC area for 19 years now. Lots of people know me but they do not know my story. I just don't look like what I have been through. I can provide a list of reference to authenticate my character both professionally and otherwise. I am on FaceBook and Linkedin as well. I attended Redemption World Outreach for over 14 years so Apostle Ron and Hope Carpenter should know me well. (I left Redemption several years ago and became a "professional visitor" at local churches). As you know, there is nothing quite like being hurt in the church. My present reality is helping women in small doses as God begins to enlarge my territory of influence. For the record, I have nothing ill to discuss about Redemption because when thirsty people call on The Eternal One, He answers. The anointing is still in the building and I still respect the Carpenters. It is up to God to deal with what goes on when the cameras are off. Everyone has a skeleton in their closet but God is a healer of broken lives and fractured relationships. I am AUTHENTIC, taking the leap of faith to contact you in order to help people look at a tragic matter of domestic violence in a different way. The skeleton in my own closet is that I was severely beaten by a man I chose to fall in love with. Legislature has begun the dialogue of domestic violence but their starched shirts and articulation of prolific dialogue is nice but not effective. It almost feels like people hold the conversations, throw a bit of money at the curious onlookers to ease their own conscious but the reality is - women (and men) are dying at the hand of those that were supposed to love them most. We are overdue in having workshops, telephone conversations, safe homes, police officers having clarity of the sensitivity and enormity and well-informed support systems available. Take the same out of this filthy problem and I am willing to let it start with me. For some victims, the effective use of resources is vital and for some going "underground" and assuming a new identity is their only measure to save their lives. I moved 12 hours away from my abuser and until I renewed my mind - the thunder of his very voice could make me shudder - over the phone. I am intimate with fear but I learned about intimacy with He who created me. Be sure, domestic abuse has no socio-economic stature for which to identify. From high heels to flip-flops;, from the mansion to the ghetto-no one is exempt. The less affluent African American segment seems less likely to be able to take advance of vital information-until now-I need to partner with someone to help me make a difference in our communities. I am reaching out to others, including yourself to put action to this initiative. Kindly feel free to contact me for additional dialogue. Looking forward to hearing from you soon. In HIS Service,