When Mark Sanford moved into the governor’s office with a vow to more efficiently “pool” the state’s resources, he was serious.

After being forced out of the Governor’s Mansion because of a problem with hazardous mold, Gov. Sanford is moving his family into the pool house adjacent to the mansion.

It’s true.

There will be no fancy Shandon abode as a temporary residence for our cheap chief executive. He and his family will manage to get by in tiny two-room quarters that feature the old futon from his days in Washington, a foosball table and some weights. (Sounds sort of like prison, huh?)

Sanford consented to answer some of Talk’s hard-hitting questions about this unprecedented arrangement. We used the governor’s towel boy, Will Folks, to relay the questions, and the David Hasselhoff of governors dictated the answers while skimming the pool for leaves. Here’s what Folks swears the governor had to say.

Q: There’s a lot of water around a pool house. Are you sure there’s no moisture damage and mold there, too?

A: Well, there wasn’t before, but my kids think “rocking the pool” is pretty cool. I’ve heard that can make some waves.

Q: Will South Carolina’s business now be conducted poolside?

A: Only when my four little whirling-dervish boys aren’t around. I’d hate to have Speaker Wilkins or Senator McConnell subjected to one of Bolton’s wet-towel whippings. Ouch!

Q: Will pet pigs Pork and Barrel get to hang out by the pool?

A: Absolutely. Helping me protect the taxpayers from waste and inefficiency is their full-time job, and besides, our black labs, Jet and Jeep, are looking forward to having some company.

Q: Swimming trunks or Speedo?

A: Uh, trunks. Seriously, we’re not moving the pool to France.

Q: How many Hawaiian shirts do you own?

A: Actually, none. I’m a T-shirt or no shirt-wearing kind of guy.

Q: Will your bodyguards now have to serve double duty as lifeguards?

A: No, I’m making my press shop guys, Chris Drummond and Will Folks, do that. Although on second thought the idea of either of those guys giving “mouth-to-mouth” to anybody is a little scary.

Q: What’s your best swimming stroke?

A: Freestyle. It’s the most efficient stroke in terms of maximizing the taxpayers’ investment in my gubernatorial arm and leg muscles.

Q: Will lower tax rates for cabana boys now become a legislative priority?

A: Making South Carolina more competitive for everybody will always be our top legislative priority.

Q: Who can execute the biggest cannonball in your family?

A: My eldest son, Marshall, definitely. I’m more of a “can-opener” governor.

Q: Remember the famous scene in “Caddyshack” where the Baby Ruth floating in the pool is mistaken for something else? There aren’t any candy bars in your pool, are there?

A: Please, my kids are going to be reading this. Let’s not give them any ideas.

Q: What’s better exercise — swimming or riding a bike? And would you ever pledge to swim across the state as a way of promoting family health?

A: We’re definitely doing a second “Family Fitness Challenge,” but the bike ride was pretty tough and I’m not getting any younger. Now if Talk is volunteering to swim along for the entire route, that’s another thing.

Q: Which blowhard state legislator would you choose to blow up all of your pool rafts?

A: Be nice. You’re not going to trick me on that one.

Q: Will your wife get her own matching futon in the pool house?

A: That’s none of your business.

Q: Can Talk come over and spend next weekend by the pool?

A: Sure. If you can get past security.

Q: If we stop by, would you mind rubbing some suntan lotion on our back?

A: Actually, after they’re done protecting the taxpayers’ money, that’s Pork’s and Barrel’s other job.

Call Talk at (803) 771-8643 or e-mail ntwhite@thestate.com.