IF AT FIRST YOU DON'T PRONOUNCE ...

Don't ever say Rep. Wallace Scarborough , R-Charleston, is too old to mend his ways.

On Wednesday, as he fought to kill a bill on the House floor, he said the bill's language had already been "strucken." He said it twice. His colleagues giggled.

But then Thursday the bill returned to life and Scarborough again tried to kill it. The language "has been stricken!" Scarborough said, and then looked at a colleague. "I said it right that time."

SENATOR NO JR. (WITH APOLOGIES TO JESSE HELMS)

Sen. Scott Richardson, R-Beaufort, has coined a new phrase to signify a senator's frustration with being slapped down by colleagues.

As Richardson desperately sought unanimous consent to move some legislation, someone kept objecting. It was Sen. John Kuhn, R-Charleston, who will go down in history as the man who single-handedly brought the Senate to a snarling mess this week.

Once Kuhn objected, Richardson recoiled, smiled and said, "I got Kuhned!"

"... AND PICK UP A GALLON OF MILK AND A LOAF OF BREAD ..."

Gov. Mark Sanford's post-session news conference lasted entirely too long. How do we know? Because his wife called in the middle of it to say so.

As Sanford spoke to the gathered press in his State House office, the telephone behind the governor chirped.

"That'll be my wife," Sanford said. "She's the only one with that number."

Sure enough, communications director Chris Drummond answered the phone and spoke with First Lady Jenny Sanford.

BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU ASK FOR, SENATOR

Sen. Robert Ford, D-Charleston, has always wanted something named for him -- a bridge, a highway, something, anything.

Sen. James Ritchie, R-Spartanburg, said Thursday that he was proud to announce the House and Senate had agreed on a law stiffening the penalties for domestic violence.

"This is the Robert Ford Domestic Violence Protection Act," Ritchie said. "I want to name something for him."

Ford was pleased, since he had pushed for the changes. He said he knew it was a joke, too, so he's still waiting for his namesake.

JUST DON'T ASK HIM TO SPELL IT

Sen. Larry Martin, R-Pickens, wore a hole in the Senate carpet late Thursday, running back and forth between legislators, pushing for lowering the DUI level to .08.

So it stands to reason he was a little tongue-tied at the podium, explaining the new standard for being pulled over. It would change from probable cause to the stronger "articulable suspicion," Martin said, meaning an officer would have to describe your behavior clearly.

"It's a standard that can be articulated, or articulable," Martin said. "I'm sorry, but I can't pronounce it."

A ROSE BY ANY OTHER NAME ...

After six weeks of budget fights, Sen. Tommy Moore, D-Aiken, had had enough. He said he was sick of Republicans who'd signed a no-tax pledge but had never met a "user fee" they didn't like.

So he reintroduced his two most favorite ideas -- a cigarette tax increase and a 1-cent sales tax hike -- as user fees.

He almost got away with it, amending them to a fairly innocuous piece of legislation. Then Kuhn asked, "It's a 1-cent user fee on what?"

Moore answered, with a hint of jubilation: "Everything!"

UM, WE GET IT

The Buzz does give Moore points for persistence above and beyond the call. With an hour to go, he kept the floor to fight for his "user fees."

Chaos enveloped him, as he gave senators the right to try to push through other bits of legislation on his time.

Senators called out, "Mr. President, Mr. President," trying to get Lt. Gov. Andre Bauer's attention. Moore looked around, tucked his chin to his chest and banged his head on the podium microphone.

Finally, after 10 minutes, the chaos got to him. "Mr. President," he called, "Do I have the floor? All right! I don't yield to anybody!" Senators laughed, but still kept yelling. Finally, Moore said, "Do you get it? I'm not going to yield!"