HERE TODAY, GONE TOMORROW

Speculation that USC coach Steve Spurrier could be bolting for the University of Alabama even permeated the halls of state government last week.

While nominating Rep. Bobby Harrell, R-Charleston, for re-election as House speaker, Rep. Jim Harrison, R-Columbia, said Harrell had a difficult job. Following David Wilkins, R-Greenville, as speaker — which Harrell did in 2005 — was like being the coach who succeeded the legendary Bear Bryant as coach of Alabama.

What you want to be, Harrison said, is the “guy who succeeds the guy who succeeds the guy who succeeds the guy who succeeds Bear Bryant.”

“And by the way, Alabama,” Harrison said to applause, “Steve Spurrier ain’t going nowhere.”

MIND-NUMBING —TIMES TWO

Pity the poor Legislative Audit Council staff, who endured more than five hours of hearings last week with two Senate subcommittees investigating the LAC review of Department of Transportation spending.

After spending more than a year poring over thousands of documents detailing which projects were “obligation authority” and which were classified “advanced construction,” staffs from both agencies had to rehash the same questions in front of a different set of senators on Tuesday and Thursday.

Most of the focus was on allegations that DOT deliberately delayed — for reasons unknown — billing the federal government for completed highway projects. Despite all the opportunities, no one asked DOT, “What did you bill, and when did you bill it?”

Lobbyists, media, and especially LAC staff were left bleary-eyed by the end. The House committee reviewing the audit will meet Wednesday and Thursday.

To which The Buzz humbly suggests that government restructuring begin with the audit of the LAC audit. We’ll draft the bill.

YOU WIN SOME, YOU LOSE SOME

U.S. Sen. Jim DeMint, R-S.C., lost a couple battles last week as the 109th Congress drew to a close.

His months-long bid to prevent Andrew von Eschenbach from being named as head of the Food and Drug Administration failed when the Senate confirmed him Thursday.

DeMint wants the FDA to suspend sales of the abortion pill RU-486 and investigate whether it increases the likelihood of infection by a rare but deadly bacterium.

DeMint, U.S. Sen. Lindsey Graham, R-S.C, and several other senators from Georgia, Alabama, Kentucky and North Carolina also were on the short end of the trade stick.

Congress approved a bill to extend trade benefits to Haiti and several other countries, a move the Southern senators said would further harm the already bleeding textile industry.

DeMint, however, was named chairman of the Senate Steering Committee, a caucus of conservative senators.

Maybe his new role will give him more clout next year. Although that will be left up to the Democrats.

THEY ALL LOOK THE SAME

The Buzz must issue a humble apology. An item last week said Rep. Nathan Ballentine, R-Richland, was spotted at Sandy’s acting as a stand-in for state-issued bodyguards-in-training. Unfortunately, the agents’ employer was misidentified. The three officers work for the Bureau of Protective Services.

QUOTE

“We have entered the ‘liar, liar, pants on fire’ phase of the audit.”

— Sen. Harvey Peeler, R-Cherokee, after sitting through a Senate Finance subcommittee hearing on the Department of Transportation audit. For two hours, DOT officials and Legislative Audit Council employees disputed each other’s account about whether DOT delayed billing the federal government for its highway projects.