RESPITE AWARENESS DAY

Mary Wilson, a Lee County resident, has already raised her children, but she is once again taking on parenting duties.

She is raising her two grandchildren, 10-year-old Fredericka and 3-year-old DaShawn King.

“I didn’t want to see them go into a home, so I took them myself,” she said.

Wilson, 57, is among the estimated 52,000 South Carolina grandparents raising grandchildren under age 18. Nationally, about 2.5 million grandparents are responsible for more than 5 million grandchildren.

In recognizing the efforts of grandparents and all family caregivers across the state, Gov. Mark Sanford proclaimed Wednesday Respite Awareness Day.

Caregivers took the opportunity to raise awareness among legislators. They turned out at the State House and telephoned and wrote lawmakers. A group of about 200 Upstate families caring for Alzheimer’s patients had letters hand-delivered to their representatives.

“There are thousands of families trying to do it at home by themselves,” said Kathy Mayfield-Smith, president of the South Carolina Respite Coalition board of directors.

“People are trying to allow loved ones to stay at home with their families and live in their own communities,” she said.

The problem is those families are faced with little, if any, relief from round-the-clock care.

“Our homes are miniature hospitals,” said Richland County resident W.C. Hoecke, whose 10-year-old son Karl has Down syndrome.

Hoecke and his wife, Catherine, felt extreme pressure six months after Karl was born.

“We were under so much pressure it affected our marriage,” Hoecke said.

The Hoeckes arranged to have someone sit with their children so they could go out together once a week for dinner.

“It’s hard for parents to take a break,” he said. “You feel such guilt.”

Judy McColl of Gaston cares for her 82-year-old mother.

“Without the help, I would not be able to handle it,” she said.

“When you are trying to do things for someone who cannot do it for themselves anymore, it is difficult.”

After 1½ years, McColl finally started getting some help.

“I immediately could feel the pressure leave. It is a tremendous relief mentally and physically. I know someone is there with her when I can’t be,” she said.

The issue of respite is affecting a growing number of families, as people are living longer.

“There is not enough respite resources out there,” said Susan Carlton, South Carolina Respite Coalition executive director. “Those that are there are limited and will not meet the needs that are there.”

Reach Jackson at (803) 771-8512 or scjackson@thestate.com.