"Call me irresponsible,

Tell me I'm impractical,

Rainbows, I'm inclined to pursue"

--Sammy Cahn

And if you're inclined to pursue lawsuit loot, call for the dismissal of jurors who are "extreme on the personal responsibility bias."

That expert advice comes from attorney David Wenner, who writes in the American Trial Lawyers Association's "Litigating Tort Cases":

"Jurors who are extreme on the personal responsibility bias, or who have a high need for personal responsibility, will strongly favor the defendant. In contrast, jurors who are extreme on the compassionate-altruistic bias, or who have a high need for compassion, will strongly favor the plaintiff."

Advertised as "essential to every trial lawyer's library," Wenner warns in the guide that potential jurors who hail "traditional family values" reflecting "strong religious beliefs" are more prone to exhibit "personal responsibility bias." He warns further that such bias unites jurors on this point:

"People should be self-reliant, responsible and self-disciplined. When people act irresponsibly and are not self-disciplined, there are consequences. People must be accountable for their conduct."

That expensive, if quaint notion can spoil bids for big money in court. That notion presumes some tort plaintiffs could have -- even should have -- avoided the harm for which they seek compensation.

Encouraging news for plaintiffs: The pool of "personal responsibility bias" jurors is shrinking.

Discouraging news for all: The costs of personal responsibility's retreat don't end with excessive jury judgments that boost insurance prices.

Juries who should know better grant vast sums to plaintiffs who should have known better -- including longtime smokers suing tobacco companies that have put health-hazard labels on cigarettes for nearly four decades.

A few of the many other warning labels sending a troubling message about how helpless -- and clueless -- we've presumably become:

-- "This product not intended for use as a dental drill" (electric router for carpentry)

-- "Remove child before folding" (stroller)

-- "If you do not understand, or cannot read, all directions, cautions and warnings, do not use this product" (drain cleaner)

-- "Do not allow children to play in the dishwasher"

-- "Never iron clothes while they are being worn"

-- "Shin pads can't protect any part of the body they do not cover"

And such absurd warning labels can't protect those goofy enough to need them. Nor can the dwindling ranks of "personal responsibility" jurors protect the grand old, common-sense maxim of caveat emptor (let the buyer beware).

Nor can Dr. Julie McCammon, an obstetrician/gynecologist who has sued the West Virginia Trial Lawyers Association for engaging in "frivolous lawsuits" against physicians in that state, which is losing lots of doctors fleeing soaring malpractice-insurance rates.

She needed a lawyer for that, too.

Some S.C. doctors are even going to Columbia on Feb. 17 to lobby the General Assembly, which isn't lacking in lawyers, on that issue.

The spectacle of a doctors-vs.-lawyers grudge match stirs a rasslin'-type, villain-vs.-villain appeal reminiscent of the classic 1960s tag-team "Battle of the Bullies" pitting Skull Murphy and Brute Bernard against Rip "The Profile" Hawk and Swede Hanson.

But both sides in the physician-attorney feud often serve good-guy purposes. Most of us who disdain ambulance-chasing profiteering find our regard for lawyers rapidly elevated when in a legal jam -- or when in danger of not receiving our just due.

And doctors save lives.

Trial lawyer extraordinaire John "The Profile" Edwards, winner of the S.C. Democratic presidential primary, is arguing his "Two Americas" case for the White House, though the N.C. junior senator will likely settle out of court for the ticket's No. 2 spot. "Personal responsibility bias" didn't prevent Edwards, who touts his humble origins in Seneca (a Clemson suburb), from getting rich.

However, personal responsibility's decline does prevent Washington from balancing its books.

Many folks decry that decline as the driving force behind civil litigation run amok. Yet many of those same folks demand ever-expanding Nanny State benefits far beyond government's proper responsibilities -- along with tax cuts and federal protection from not just terrorists but advertisers.

See, passing the bucks isn't confined to the courtroom. And shifting the blame for personal responsibility's retreat is itself an abdication of responsibility.

So call us -- and not just those overly "compassionate" jurors -- irresponsible.

Frank Wooten is associate editor of The Post and Courier. His e-mail is wooten@postandcourier.com.