After putting on a few extra pounds over the holidays, Talk hit Blockbuster this week looking for a good exercise video.

To our surprise, we came across a new release featuring our very own governor. It was called, “Hitting the Mark: Trimming the Fat From Your Waistline and the State Budget Through Cycling.”

As soon as we got home, we popped it in and heard all about this new, exciting way to get into shape. (We’ve never been into aerobics or Tae Bo.) As a public service, we took the time to transcribe the video’s running commentary for our beloved — yet chunky — readers.

Here it is:

“Hello, South Carolinians, my name is Mark Sanford, and I’m here to pump (claps his hands) you up!

“I have no idea what that means, but my staffers, who know a lot more about pop culture than I do, told me it would be a funny thing to say. I don’t believe these Hanz and Franz fellows even live here in the Palmetto State.

“My goal as South Carolina’s duly-elected chief fitness executive is to trim the fat out of our people and our budget. Nine out of 10 leading skinny economists have assured me that healthier residents can lead to a healthier economy.

“I’d like to put forth the following initiative. I’m going to challenge all of you to ride 300 miles on a bicycle this year.

“So the first thing you need to do is stop this tape and go put on a pair of extra-tight Lycra bicycle shorts. Hold on, let me amend that. I want everybody except state Sen. Jakie Knotts to put on a pair of extra-tight Lycra bicycle shorts. Jakie in tight shorts is not a visual image any of us is ready to handle.

“All right, now that everyone is ready to ride, let’s warm up by climbing on a stationary bike. It’s great exercise. In fact, I spent the first year of my administration on a stationary bike as most of my policy proposals went nowhere fast. Is everyone good and warmed up? Wonderful!

“Now, it’s time to get on a real bike and take off on a 300-mile adventure with me. That’s the kind of journey I hope will help you lead a more active lifestyle. But here’s the best part: Everyone who bikes the entire 300 miles with me will get their state income tax rate dropped from 7 percent to 5.9 percent. Just think of it, you’ll be shaving pounds and saving money all at the same time!

“Sure, it isn’t going to be easy, but you simply have to commit to it. Remember the three steps: No. 1, put down the Cheetos and the remote. No. 2, get your fat self off the couch. No. 3, get on that bike and pedal! Before you know, your tax burden will shrink right along with your love handles.

“This three-step plan is a lot like my proposal to assist public education. If you’re unhappy with your school, you simply need to follow these three easy steps: No. 1, inherit a lot of money. No. 2, put your kids in a private school. No. 3, get a big, fat tax break!

“I’m calling this the Many Children Left Behind Act. If I can get enough kids to bail out on the public schools, I can sell off all those school buses and give their parents an even bigger tax break. As for the kids left behind with no way to get to school, well, they can just ride a bike. It’ll be great exercise for them!

“And it’ll be great practice for them when we ride across the state this spring. I’ll be starting the first Saturday in March in Walhalla for the downhill trip to Beaufort. At least it looks downhill on a map. I invite all state residents to ride along with me.

“If you’re looking for me at the starting line, I’ll be the one in the combination Lycra-khaki bike shorts. One word of warning, however. I’ll be riding down the hills on my bike. But if I encounter any uphill rides, I’ll be climbing in my state car and having my driver take me up.

“You, of course, will not be able to do that. But remember what they say: No pain, no gain! After all, I’m here to pump (claps hands) you up! You know, I still don’t get why that’s so funny.

“See you on the bike paths!”

Reach Talk at (803) 771-8643 or e-mail ntwhite@thestate.com.