You can have reality television.

Forget that cloying sing-off between Fantasia and Diana on “American Idol.” Forget all those smarmy ladder-climbers on “The Apprentice.” Forget the collection of freaks that turn up on “Survivor” every season.

Nothing can top the real-life reality show that’s taking place in the State House as the legislative session comes to a close.

Even conniving manipulators like Omarosa and Boston Rob wouldn’t stand a chance in the battles between the House, the Senate and the governor’s office, where many relationships are now mired in deep doo-doo.

The mudslinging — at least it looked something like mud — reached a crescendo this week when Senate Democrats shut down the governor’s proposed income tax cut with a filibuster the Republicans couldn’t halt. Meanwhile, over in the House, the governor sent the proposed budget back to House members with a whopping 106 vetoes. House members countered by overriding 105 of those vetoes in 99 minutes. That’s an average of 1.06 overrides per minute, which, according to the legislative manual, set a new House record.

A war of words quickly followed, as the governor’s spokesman, Will Folks, dismissed House leaders for their “mockery” and for being “more interested in being the mayor of Importantville.”

(Wait a second, Talk, an expert in mockery, always thought that we were the mayor of Importantville. Has there been some sort of recall election?)

Sanford himself called the overrides “reckless.” Sort of like an Andre Bauer truck ride down Assembly.

But the House members were equally incredulous over the 106 vetoes, far more than the 22 vetoes Sanford had last year. That’s a jump even more stunning than Barry Bonds going from 49 homers to a record-breaking 73 homers over a single season.

Talk has learned legislators believe Sanford’s veto pen might have been corked. Or that he was getting mail-order “nutritional supplements” from BALCO.

We’re sure his newfound veto power has nothing to do with gubernatorial steroid use. His glistening new physique can probably just be attributed to all that cross-state bike-riding.

But you have to wonder what prompted Sanford’s next move, when he showed up at the State House the following day with a piglet under each arm as a way of taunting legislators about pork spending.

He stood right there at the House chamber doors as the pigs did what pigs do all over his shoes and coat. That left his spinmeister Folks to clean up the mess. (Just wondering, does that make him the mayor of Poopville?)

Next it was House Speaker David Wilkins’ turn to be furious. He accused Sanford of defiling the State House in order to get TV coverage. You know, the Speaker may be on to something there.

Gov. Sanford could be auditioning for his own reality show. Let’s face it, this week’s unscripted outrageousness is more entertaining than anything we’ve ever seen out of Simon Cowell, Donald Trump or Richard Hatch, the naked guy on “Survivor.”

In fact, it wouldn’t surprise us if Sanford — wearing only a pair of form-fitting bike shorts — showed up next week in the final days of the legislative session with Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie on each arm.

They could be a part of a new season of “The Simple Life” in which folks across the nation get to laugh at the antics of the simpletons in our state government, which is now as stalled out as that old truck Paris and Nicole drive around in their show.

There’s about as much chance of the Sanford administration getting anything meaningful passed these days as there is of another 3 Rivers Music Festival occurring next spring.

Unless, that is, we can get Fantasia to headline 3 Rivers. Maybe she can sing the theme song to the governor’s new reality show:

“The Mayor of Importantville.”

Call Talk at (803) 771-8643 or e-mail ntwhite@thestate.com.