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Date Published: April 8, 2004
Sanford giving S.C. what it asked for
By ROBBIE EVANS
robbiee@theitem.com
The tension began to build as Mark Sanford
strode lightly toward the dais. Not among the crowd of Charleston
Rotarians lounging comfortably before him. South Carolina's governor
was on his home turf, in a room filled with his kind of people,
successful businessmen, and was unlikely to lob any verbal
grenades.
Or none that would cause any real problems, at any
rate.
But long experience had taught at least two members of
Tuesday's congregation not to relax. In the background, Chris
Drummond monitored Sanford's address closely, one arm poised to
signal Will Folks into action with a spring-loaded contraption the
two keep unholstered any time the governor steps anywhere near a
live microphone.
It's a drill they have honed to perfection
-- Drummond straddling Sanford's chest as Folks works quickly to
spring the governor's Bass Weejuns from his jaws. The chore has
become progressively easier over the past two years. Through
repeated use, Folks' miniature jaws of life have stretched the
governor's cheeks to the point that they flap like flubber any time
he pedals his bicycle at anything above a moderate pace.
Both
Drummond, Sanford's communications director, and Folks, the
governor's spokesman, received huge pay raises in recent weeks. And
they earned them. On call 24 hours a day like an understaffed EMS
team, they've labored assiduously to protect a governor who spends
so much time with his sneakers between his gums that it's a wonder
he doesn't suffer from athlete's tongue.
Sanford began
quickly, evoking the image of an obscure -- at least to most South
Carolinians; there's that knotty education funding problem again --
Turkish leader. When an enterprising reporter actually looked
Mustafa Kemal Ataturk up in his handy encyclopedia, he discovered
that many historians, especially those of Greek or Armenian descent,
rank the father of modern Turkey as a lower-case Hitler.
Nice
start, but the governor was merely warming up.
He followed
quickly by claiming that the Governor's Mansion was out of money and
that he might be forced to Draconian measures to pay the next
month's bills. Swapping those pricey 100-watt bulbs for 40-watters
and a strict limit on toilet flushing -- plus, a donation of free
grits -- quickly solved that problem, but Sanford didn't stay out of
the headlines for long.
In an address before a group of rural
businessmen, he asserted that the only thing they had to offer
incoming industry was a surplus of poorly educated, ill-paid labor.
In other words, don your bib overalls, clamp a straw firmly between
your jaws and wait for Mexico to run out of cheap labor. Now there's
a plan for you.
And, as soon as that furor died down, the
governor suggested that the state could ill afford to finance a
crusade to save South Carolina's military installations and that
communities where they were housed should call upon their retired
veterans to fend off BRAC.
Indeed, load 'em on a bus, ship
'em to Washington and wait for Washington to succumb to their
relentless advice.
To be fair, the governor eventually
allocated a modicum of state funds toward avoiding base closure.
Nevertheless, he hasn't been able to resist pointing out at every
opportunity that Shaw Air Force Base is at risk. Thanks, governor,
we were hoping Washington wouldn't notice.
None of that,
however, ranks with the USC Sumter debacle. Sanford eventually
vetoed the Life Sciences Act, with the USC Sumter plan tacked on,
had his veto overridden overwhelmingly, then in an attack of pique
threatened to sue his own Legislature before relenting, reportedly
after an acrimonious meeting with House Republicans.
All over
a moot point. The USC Sumter bobtail explicitly stated that
four-year status for the local institution would not require state
funds -- and it might be noted that while the governor was using USC
Sumter as an example of the evils of bobtailing he was avidly
promoting a restructuring package replete with its own set of
tentacles. On the other side, Sumterites who bemoaned the fate of
nontraditional students who were limited to two-year degrees
routinely failed to mention that four-year degrees have long been
available at the local campus, albeit with USC Aiken getting the
credit and the funding that goes with it.
It's not over yet.
Sanford has reserved his right to sue and, he revealed Tuesday
before Drummond could get his hands around his neck, that he has now
set his sights on Rep. Dan Tripp, R-Mauldin, reportedly the culprit
behind a tape recording of the governor's House meeting that was
leaked to the press.
Tripp, Sanford said Tuesday, was "trying
to bait me," presumably into saying something stupid.
Wonder
how long that took.
Tripp's fate remains in question,
although his actions were perfectly legal. As for the rest of us,
well, there aren't many of us left. Sanford, in two short years, has
managed to tick off Armenian and Greek historians, anyone who wants
to attract any business more complicated than a dirt farm, anyone
associated with a military installation, everyone in Sumter County
and any Republican who happens to hold an elected office. He was
already at odds with the Democrats.
During his campaign,
Sanford asked us to vote for a leader, not a politician.
It
looks like we got what we asked for.
Contact Robbie Evans
at 803-774-1204 or robbiee@theitem.com.
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May 20, 2004 
