Dear Governor Haley,
This is my second attempt to contact you. I am writing to you as a frustrated single father of 3 boys.
(I have full custody and have been raising them on my own since 2007) I do not
understand the disparity in our DSS system. We are supposed to be treated
equally under the law I do not see the laws being applied equally. I am getting tired of the bias and lack of
follow up with the Department of Social Services. I have called DSS on several occasions asking
for an investigation to neglect and or abuse of my 3 sons and get no response.
During my divorce (2007) my ex-wife called DSS on me about Neglect and abuse
the charges were unfounded, and DSS sided with me during the divorce. Her
mental stability had been questioned (the family counselor the kids Psychiatrist, and the kids principal
all wrote affidavits to this effect ) and after consulting with these
professionals DSS issued a safety plan that she refused to sign it stated that
she would not have visitation without supervision. DSS policy is to come up
with a safety plan that works and is agreed upon. This was never done
(Greenville). I t was brought to the GAL
attention that my son frank was sleeping in the same bed with a naked man. It
was his future step- father. Nothing
was done even after the GAL confirmed this after talking with the boys. She
said she could not show bias in the case.
What is the GAL’s job?? How is this protecting the boy’s interests?
During the hearing the judge agreed that a psychiatric evaluation was warranted
and asked DSS to get make this happen. This too was never done Greenville).
In February 2013 I
called because my son frank had broken his wrist playing on a roll of hay and
fell off. I understand boys break bones
every day; the problem was he broke his wrist before 11:00Am at his mother’s
house on a Saturday. He did not receive treatment until I got the boys back
after 7:15 PM on Monday. She dropped him
off at our Boy Scout meeting wrapped in an ace bandage. She told me that he
hurt his wrist and that they had put bio freeze on it and it, and abruptly left
she did not notify me of any of this. His wrist looked as big as his thigh. I
took off the ace bandage it was discolored and swollen up solid larger than his
calf. He told me his wrist hurt and that mom had put the bandage on just before
she came to drop them off. I asked him where his ice bag was he said they
didn’t use ice they used Bio freeze. I took him to the urgent care up the
street we were there till closing. We
ended up getting surgery in the wrist because the bones had separated too much
from the swelling so he had to have a pin put in his wrist. I was told by DSS
that this was not something that they deal with. I called DSS (Richland County)to investigate
my sons concerns about sleeping on mattresses on the floor at their mother’s
house. I asked them what happened to their beds. They told them they were lost
in one of her moves. ( she gets evicted every 6 months or so) I asked them what was wrong with the beds they
sleep in they said that Mom and Kelly sleep in their bed, at night we pull
mattresses out from under her bed and we sleep on them, DSS said they did not
have the resources to investigate this (Richland).
On the other hand my Ex-wife can call and I am swarmed by
DSS and police at my home. I have been investigated more than once and had all
charges being unfounded. This Summer My ex-wife used DSS to harass me once
again. This time another “anonymous” complaint she gave them invalid contact numbers.
Don’t you think with all the Supposed details that were filed in the complaint
there a red flag would have been raised when none of the phone number for
contacting me did not work? Especially since my ex- speaks with the boys every
week? Resulting in DSS showing up at my house with preconceived notions while
I am at work. She claimed that they
were abandoned and left alone, among other things. This is not the case. My
middle son was with his friend’s house I had to call my friend to bring him
back. My youngest one was with another friend and had to ask him to come back.
My oldest was supposed to work on a Boy Scout service project at the church but
was unable to because it was cancelled (he was 13) I knew he was at home. Don’t
you think a red flag would have been raised while I cooperated with DSS and
called to have the boys brought back to the home?
Fortunately a friend had called me and I left work 18
minutes later I came me home and find DSS
at my door they had told me about a list of complaints and asked me about the
boys. They said they tried calling me but were unable to reach me the numbers
that they were given were no good. They ask to enter my home I agreed to
because I had nothing to hide. I explained the house was a mess we had just
come back from a camping trip and gear was still spread out. There were some
deficiencies found and were addressed within 24 hours. Some were explained and
were already being addressed with a family councilor there was no follow up
with him either. The boys were taken from my home till this issue was resolved.
DSS did not give me access to my boys Visitation or phone information for over
30 days. I am supposed to be able to have a minimum of 2 visits /month. I was
told that there was no electronics allowed where they were going. So I took my
middle sons Cell phone from him. They did not make my Oldest son surrender his
cell phone. My ex made sure to call him and he has been lead to believe that I
do not care about him. None of this was explained to them so they feel I did
nothing to get them back. Their mother was able to visit them and call them.
My Son Frank got
bitten by a young child at the first home they were in. I showed it to the case
worker and asked how this could have happened and why was he not given medical
attention. To date I have not received an answer. I bought him ointment for the
bite. They were moved to a different facility and registered for a different
school. It is my understanding is that they were to start school in the school
that normally attends. This did not happen. They missed the start of school
because they were taken out of their district and the paperwork took time to
get back to their school. DSS is responsible to get the boys into their own
school this did not happen and caused issues with the start of school. I could not get the boys back any sooner because
the GAL had not visited the boys and was not even aware that they had been
moved. This also caused a delay in getting the boys home and safe. I had
arranged for scouting parents that know the boys to take them in during the
investigation. This did not happen. My ex-wife repeated several times that the
boys should go to her house bypassing the court order that has been upheld 3
different attempts. DSS had talked about doing a psyche evaluation on her but
did not follow through. There was also a delay in getting them back due to the
way the paperwork was written. My ex had to sign, she said she could not
because she did not have transportation. (she has not had a car for over a
year) she could not arrange something to get them out of a group home? I showed
a copy of my court order showing I have full custody of the boys and DSS re
wrote the documentation so I could get the boys home. 3 days later My EX-
called DSS to say she would be able come down and sign the papers. I went to the DSS office 3 times to get my
boys back and did not get them because it was too late to send someone or the
judges were unavailable. She was not allowed to have custody of the boys
because the beds they had were inadequate (Same thing I have been asking about)
and that her spouse has 2 felony arrest warrants for him in California that
needed to be resolved before she could have overnight visitation. I did
everything I was asked to do. When I got the boys back I was told by DSS that
under no circumstances was I to let the boys go to their mother for an
overnight stay until I received word from them that the Felony warrants had
been satisfied. I asked DSS to notify
the boys why they could not stay at their mothers overnight. This did not happen
Causing even more confusion and anger in the boys. I offered her the
opportunity to see them on weekends at chick filet or something but she
refused.
We went to court to close out this matter when my ex-wife
was notified by DSS she had a bench warrant for her arrest. She was allowed to abruptly
leave the courthouse before I could have the warrant served. This was at the end of August. I did not
receive the papers from the court till November. Upon reading it there was no
mention of visitation being contingent upon DSS Receiving information showing
that the of issue with the felony warrants had been addressed. My attorney
filed paperwork with DSS to get the paperwork amended and was told that this
case would not be closed until the warrant issue was resolved. Talking to DSS
there was supposed to be another court date to get this done the proposed date
(28 January 2015) has come and gone. 2
days before Christmas break My ex-wife threatened me with a lawsuit if I did
not allow visitation. DSS told me that nothing had changed. Then I was advised
to allow visitation until the case came back up in January 2015. Nothing has
been done and no one is answering back. Once again no follow up. If the issues
they found were so bad I was not to allow the boys overnight visitation why is
this no longer important? This was never supposed to close until the matter was
resolved. DSS never explained the reason that they were not allowed to see
their mother. Once again I am left holding the bag and have to deal with the
anger. Because now they are being told
it was me that did not allow the boys to visit their mom. This was never
supposed to close until the matter was resolved.
While the case was still open DSS was made aware of how she
kept undermining my authority in dealing with the boys. She talked my oldest
son into giving back the phone I supplied for one that she gave him and told
him that I could not take it away. DSS made it clear to him that this was not
true. She then gave him a second phone to hide as a backup. When I took his TV privileges away from him she
gave him a TV and access to her net flicks account while I was at work. (How
Can she afford this if she cannot pay her child support or student loan
obligations?) DSS told me not to let the TV in the house. It was too late she
gave it to him while I was at work. DSS did nothing to correct this. After DSS
involvement there is a large crater in our family life. The boys think that I
did not try to get them back while their mother was allowed to act like she was
fighting to get them and love them, when I was not even allowed to see or
contact them. I have been taking the boys to counseling for close to 2 years
now it started because anger that arose when she made plans to see the boys
during her call on Wednesday nights and continued not to show up for over 6
months. Now we go to deal with more anger issues she pays nothing for this. DSS
mandates that I continue this. I pay for this because my insurance does not
cover this. I now have an older son that says that he does not have to do
anything around the house, and I do not have incentive to make him do his
chores.
DSS is also responsible for child support enforcement in
South Carolina (Greenville). I had to pay them and fill out paperwork to try
and get back child support from her income tax returns and never have seen a
penny. DSS has done nothing to make sure that the child support is paid and on
time. I have to keep filing private actions to enforce the court order.
It is sad how she can go 8 months without going to court and
I have to pay an attorney and file a clerks rule to get child support from her
for an amount over $10,000. Yet I see a man get hand cuffed and taken away for
being $12.00 and change for a bookkeeping error that did not take enough out of
his pay check for direct deposit. I
cannot believe how lopsided DSS is they are supposed to be protecting my kids.
How do they do this when they find issues and do not address them. Where is the
follow up? What will it take? Does one of them have to be dead? These actions constantly impede my ability to
care for my boys! Just so you get the full scope of things $10,700 dollars may
not seem like a lot to you but she also is responsible for a student loan from
the divorce that she keeps defaulting on. The government has taken over $17,608
dollars from me and it has cost me another $3500 in court costs to try and get
that money back. I lost my first home in
Greenville because my Income tax was taken, how is that creating a stable
environment for my boys? Her actions go unpunished. I am sorry I do not have
all the flowery speech to get action like she does. I just want my boys to be
able to grow up in a stable environment! This is not easy when someone uses the
system to attack and harass me, and the system turns a blind eye when they find
deficiencies. When will DSS use a heavy hand on her? That’s
10,700+$21108=$31808 how many people can afford those losses? It is crushing
me. Not to mention that my credit gets trashed every time she defaults and I
cannot do anything about it I am trying to purchase a home and again she
defaults and my credit is crushed again. A divorce is hard enough on a family.
A Job loss is hard for a family. But try
balancing this and deal with a dysfunctional DSS organization. She is creating
her own self-fulfilling prophecy of the boys failing because of her actions and
will try to paint it on me. I cannot get anyone to follow through and stop
this.
I need your help please. This stuff needs follow through.
The bias blinders need to be taken off and equal application of rules laws and
guidelines must be followed for everyone. It might be different if I was a
deadbeat dad but I am not. I am an active parent trying to raise 3 young boys.
I was a cub master for Cub scouts and an Assistant Scout master for the boy
scouts. I look forward to your response.
Kind Regards
Frank A. Duke III9 Valhalla Circle Columbia SC 29229
864-603-0441